Palliative Care Resources

• Is a natural and normal reaction to loss that is needed in order to heal
• Can follow many kinds of loss: death of a loved one, divorce, miscarriage, serious illness or death of a pet
• Can bring a wide range of emotions
• Can help in finding ways to cope with pain

• Shock and disbelief
• Anger or resentment
• Guilt
• Fear or anxiety
• Deep sadness or depression
• Physical problems
• Hope and personal growth

• Let yourself grieve in your own way.
• Allow and express any feelings or thoughts about your loss if you can; there is no right or wrong way to do this.
• Reach out to those you trust for support.
• Many times people don't know how to help, so tell them what you need.
• Rituals (ceremonies, symbolic acts) can help you develop a healthy acceptance of your loss.
• Put any regrets into perspective. Think about the good you did for this person.
• Keep memories alive.
• Look to your faith.
• Wait a while on making major changes/decisions (moving, remarrying or changing jobs).
• Allow time for adjustment.
• Consider joining a support group, if needed.
• Take care of yourself: eat healthy, get rest and engage in healthy activities.
• Think about helping others in a way that may be meaningful to the deceased.
• Allow yourself to move on, laugh and do something you enjoy.

These can be especially hard after you have experienced loss. With planning, you can make these times less upsetting and give them new meaning. It's normal to grieve during holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and changes in season. Talk with your family and others about how you all can observe the moment in a way that best meets everyone's needs and wishes. Do something special to remember your loved one.

• Notify all the relatives and friends or have someone do it for you.
• Make funeral or memorial service arrangements.

• Start by getting 5-10 official copies of the death certificate.
• Find important papers:
• Marriage certificate
• Income tax returns
• Deeds
• Bank records
• Account statements
• Stock certificates
• Insurance policies
• Social Security card
• Original will
• Military discharge papers
• Ask your bank to release joint bank account funds. This depends on each banking institution. Check with your bank as some freeze the accounts upon the death of a spouse.
• Set up a new bank account, if needed.
• Safety deposit box - if you are the joint owner, beneficiary or administrator of the estate (on the legal succession papers) then you have access.
• Contact the Social Security Office to find out if you are eligible for new benefits.
• Write a formal letter to your loved one's employer, union or other group with which he/she was involved. Inquire about insurance, pension, 401K or stock benefits.
• If a veteran, apply for veterans' benefits at the Veterans Administration Office.
• Advise all creditors in writing, including credit card issuers, of the death.
• Contact the deceased's lawyer or hire a lawyer if they did not have one.
• Contact insurance companies (life, health, mortgage, auto and credit card) and file all claims.
• If needed, cancel insurance policies, change the names on them or change the names of beneficiaries.

• See a tax accountant or tax lawyer to find out about tax returns to be filed.
• Probate is the legal process of distributing a person's assets after death. This can be difficult so check with a lawyer.